Greving For My Baby Bright Eyes (BBE)

The death of my baby Bright Eyes is so hard for me, so hard i have asked the help of a professional mental health counsellor. She wasn't much help. All she wanted wanted to do was push drugs on me. I told her: I do not want drugs, I want to deal with this so I can get over the loss of My Baby Bright Eyes. She said: The fact is, you'll never get over your loss, especially if you two were close. Obviously you two were close, or you wouldn't be seeking my help. I called her a drug pusher when she kept trying to give me drugs. that made her angry.

The she gave me this list.


Getting Through the Grieving Process

1. Tell yourself that grief is normal.
2. Expect to experience the five stages of grief.
3. Prepare for denial or disbelief.
4. Expect to feel anger.
5. Expect to feel guilt.
6. Prepare to feel sadness and depression.
7. Learn to accept the death of your loved one.
8. Don't put yourself on a timeline.
9. Reach out to other mourners for support.
10. Ask for help from people who are not mourning.
11. Seek professional help.

Adjusting to Life Without Your Loved One

1. Take physical care of yourself.
2. Eat three healthy meals a day.
3. Exercise regularly.
4. Sleep 7-8 hours nightly.
5. Establish new patterns.
6. Return to your favourite activities.
7. Return to work.
8. Do not make permanent life-changing decisions right away.
9. Embrace new experiences.
10. Forgive yourself.
11. Understand that grief will not disappear entirely.

Honouring the Memory of Your Loved One

1. Engage in public mourning rituals.
2. Establish a private mourning ritual.
3. Preserve memories of your loved one.
4. Create a memory book of your loved one.
5. Integrate photos of your loved one into your home.
6. Gather friends and family together to share memories.
7. Keep a journal.
8. Think of the future. 

She tells me the most important thing that I can do is look at pictures of her and think about all the good times you had together. she said that is the fastest way to get over the pain of loosing her or any loved one you have lose to death.

This about that, every time I look at her picture I cry because I want her, I want to hold her I want to play with her I want to hug and kiss her but, I can't, she is gone, then i start crying uncontrollably.
I have even cried in public when if think of her or, I see a kitty that looks similar to her or hear a kitty's meow that sounds like hers.

It hurts so bad I can't stand it.
My Mum died and I didn't ever cry for her. i din't know why i didn't but, didn't
I never felt the loss.  it was like she was here one day then gone the next like if she went on vacation or something.
My grand parents died i didn't cry for them either.
I have had other kitties that have died i didn't cry for them i was sad about it but i got over it within a few days. One of out kitties got ran over the guy drove off the road into our garden juts to run over him. i grabbed him out of a moving car and beat the heck out of him. then called police they arrested him on five charges he was sent to prison for 15 years. I was told i shouldn't have grabbed him out of his car and beat him but, we totally understand why you did. four of our children seen him get ran over.

The counsellor told me to talk to people who are not grieving about her its best to talk with people who have never seen her, or only seen her a few times. I have tried that, people today are so rude and don't care. most of the people i have tried to talk to say oh come on man, its just a freaking cat. Get another one and move on. She wasn't just a cat to me.
she was my best friend she truly loved me and she showed me she loved me every single day. she slept with me every night. When i used the bathroom she used it too she followed me around the house where ever i went she followed. she actively watched TV with me. she had a favourite TV show more than one. she was like a human in a cat's body but a million times better. she was very smart the smartest kitty i have ever seen my whole life. those YTube kitties are stupid not really. the piano paying kitty isn't playing the piano at all her human is moving her hands to make her look like she is playing and everyone who sees that says wow what a smart kitty the kitty isn't doing anything the human is. but that is cute.

I could ask BBE to go get something for me and she would get it. I left my glasses on my bed. i asked her to go get my glasses please they are on our bed. she ran into the bedroom and carried my glasses to me. she would do the same for the TV remote I never taught her to do that. one day i said i wished you could get the remote for me, and to my suprise she went and got it and brought it to me. I told my wife she came short if calling me a liar. i said watch. i said Baby Girl please, get my glasses for me. they were on the end table she looked around for them when she found them she picked them up and brought them to me. I looked at my wife saying not what? you want to call me a liar again. she said i didn't call you a lair but wanted to. I have to be stoned i didn't just see what i thought i saw. did BBE really get your glasses for you? i said did you see her bring them to me? she said yes but i still don't believe it. how the f*ck did she know how to do that? i said i don't know, she is smart, smarter than a human. I do have video of her doing that but i was told not to post it. it will cause you so much trouble and people will try to steal her (BBE) so i haven't i have showed a few real life friends and family members.

Something a lot of people do not know Bright Eyes was in two movies her name in the movies was Bright Eyes, and Baby Girl just like she was called at home. one movie made it big in the box office the other didn't do as well but still was good.

I will be playing them on my Twicth TV channel I first have to get permission.
The movie is copyright protected, they are still making money from DVD's and Blu-Ray
Then i have to ask the main admin at Twitch if i can play them.

Once i get their permission I'll post the dates and times I'll be playing them here, in this blog and on My twitter account.

If anyone wants to talk to me, to help me get over the hurt please leave a message in the comments or if anyone had any ideas that may help me get over the hurt and loss. please leave a message in the comments. There is a way to privately leave your email address, so only I see it.

Thank You

PS: Sorry for any spelling and/or grammar errors. I'll correct them later.

Puppy & Mokey Update

Hello Everyone,

Its been a while since I posted on this blog.

I took Puppy and Mokey to see a Certified, and licensed Kitty Cat Doctor.

I and my husband have been noticing Mokey meowing louder than normal.
He would get in our bed at night to sleep at our feet like he has done since he was a kitten.
he would always give us a soft quite meow as he laid down like to say goodnight to us.
Now when he does that goodnight meow its so loud it echoes and makes our ears ring. yes its that loud. That is the reason for taking him to see the Kitty Cat Doctor.
The reason for taking Puppy is because she is chewing her hair off her tummy and back side around her tail. We don't see any bugs like fleas or mites. she is also gaining weight.

The Kitty Cat Doctor said Mokey is def he can't hear. his ears are clean nothing blocking the ear then bones and drum both look normal. He said it had to be some kind of nerve damage. there is no fluid behind the drum no sign of infection. he wants to do a scan of his brain and do an EEG brain wave test on him. that's scheduled for next week. besides being def, he is in good health.

The Kitty Cat Doctor said Puppy is way over weight he said she weighs 8.2kg the most she should weigh is 4.5kg. so he took some of her blood and urine to run tests. he came back around 15 minutes saying she has a nasty urinary tract Infection she is also dehydrated, and the worst of all she is borderline Diabetic her blood glucose was 12.0 it should never be higher than 7.8 even two hours after she has eaten, that's usually when blood glucose is at its highest.

His suggestion for Puppy is to not leave food out for her to eat any time she wants.
he said only let her eat two times per day and only feed her a total of 150g per day.
no matter how much she begs for more do not give her any more.
Only feed her wet cat food no dry.
Dry cat food is very bad for cats its high in carbohydrates because its grain based, Carbohydrates turn in to glucose, something she doesn't need.
Wet cat food has very little grain if any at all. This means wet cat food is low in Carbohydrates, that means lower blood glucose.

Then he told me Diabetes is the number one cause of death in cats worldwide more so in United States and Canada because its easier to feed dry foods.

Diabetes is also the number one cause of death in Dogs.
Cancer is also the number cause of death for dogs in South East Asia, and parts of Europe.

The Kitty Cat Doctor said Puppy's blood glucose levels should return to normal 6.1 two hours after she eats within a week.
If it doesn't, then she neds to come back to see him.
He also gave us a glucose meter. We have to test her three times a day first thing in the morning, before she eats anything; then two hours after each of her two meals.

Well that's all I have for now.
Have A Good Day
April JW Neal